Phone pranking technology wasted on me

A couple of weeks ago we were targeted at work with prank calls. They were pretty well done and someone got some good laughs at our expense. It was harmless. And funny.

When I was a kid my friend Bruce and my brother’s friend Jeff were especially skilled at prank calls. Jeff was not only good at keeping a straight face, he had some of his victims convinced the call was legit. There was an old show called “Dialing for Dollars” in which the host would call someone randomly and if they answered the phone, and I think a couple of quiz questions, they would win prizes. Jeff did that to a family in the same Little League and the woman told mutual friends about her jackpot.

I, on the other hand, was terrible. When I tried doing something as simple as asking the Whitehead family if it was the Blackhead family I couldn’t get a word out with splitting my guts and doubling over. It was very painful for me. I had great ideas, too, but I couldn’t handle the delivery.

Now a kid like I was can use to handle the joke telling. It’s a little tricky, because you only get two free calls a day, but if you call someone you know will answer then it works out just fine.

While we were targeted I took one of the calls. A woman asked if I was bringing her toilet paper. I knew we were getting played so I hung up. I didn’t realize that the call was prerecorded. Genius.

So I’ve been trying to prank my brothers, using the phone number we grew up with as the spoof caller ID number. To date neither brother has picked up the phone on time. This morning I tried again and thought I had finally found success. Someone picked up.

When the call ended I heard the recording and it was clear I hadn’t dialed my brother. I just pranked some confused woman in Utah wondering why someone was calling her telling her that her daughter had kicked his dog. He even told her to “Shut up.”

My eyesight isn’t what it used to be, and without my glasses it’s hard to read the numbers on my phone.

So the awesome technology of prerecorded phone pranks, something that can help me finally pull off a successful phone prank and heal a four-decade-old wound is wasted because I need glass to read my phone.